.i mean it.

i was thinking a lot about this week about why things mean so much.

or why they meant so much.

or why someday they might mean something.

i read my old journal.

about what?

duh, a boy.

page after page, he meant everything to me.

he was all i thought about.

all i talked about.

i wrote down every text/email/phone conversations/wall post/comment he ever said to me.

i glued and taped in anything and everything that he was associated with.

altogether, you could say i had a nice lil picture book (well, actually novel) on my hands.

but like fickle boys do,
he passed.
time passed.

the picture novel passed.

until that trip down memory lane,
part of me forgot why he was so meaningful.
in fact, part of me felt silly for feeling the way i did.

old clothes are meaningful too.

every six months, i make a semiannual trip to the DI.

and every six months i wonder why i can’t bring myself to throw away the gray wildcats t-shirt from when i was on the set of hsm3.

it’s a size xxxxxxxxxl.

and it’s got yellow stains on it now too.

at this point, all rationalization to keep it lies solely in the fact that it was given to me just inches away from zac efron.
so, therefore… gotta have it.

the band perry got it right when they said,

“a penny for my thoughts? oh no, i’ll sell ‘em for a dollar

they’re worth so much more after i’m a gonner.”
when my mom passed away, i couldn’t write down memories
and scan in old pictures fast enough.
i still keep her nappy hot pink sweater too that doesn’t match with anything
and is borderline socially acceptable to wear in public.

why? cause that’s what she wore every morning making scrambled eggs.

even now, i concoct potentially meaningful scenarios.

i do and say things for the sake of their possible future significance.
why do i keep a penny i found from 1956?
beats me…

what if it’s worth 5 dollars someday?

is there anything that keeps its meaning beyond today?

will i still think about it later?
will i care about it tomorrow?

i’d like to think so.

as Hebrews 13:8 says:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”
thank goodness for consistency.

praises and jubilations to a rock of hope in an ever-changing world.

with the gospel of Jesus Christ as a guide, He’ll let us know what matters most.

fickle boys, nappy sweaters n all.

i mean it.